My letter to the future.

Dear Mr. Tedford,
My name is Zacq Hale. I am currently in my sophomore year, attending school at Pasadena City College. My freshman year I struggled academically, and as a result I am now sitting this year out because my gpa from last year. My struggle list can go on for ever, but what I really want to know is how I can walk onto your school. I've been working hard in school to correct mistakes I made last year--school wise, things are going very well. I don't know if I want to spend another year at the jr college level, because i feel that can play with the best--why waste my time in limbo when I can work on the specifics, and in the place I want to be. My plan is to get into the school with my grades and just walk onto the team. I would then work my ass off to EARN a scholarship and a starting position. I just spoke with my advisor today, and he let me know of the difficulty of this task--I know it is going to be hard, but I know that I will do it. It is a long shot, but I just want to run it by you. I will be speaking with my coach to see what he thinks about me leaving and he might support it (I don't really know). I just have a vision, please let me know how realistic it is. I apologize for the length of this letter, I just had to let you know what's going on.
Thank you (if you made it this far).
-Zacq Hale.
p.s. Good luck with ASU this week--Throw hitches at #5 (he can't tackle).

It's been a while.

Shout out to Big Pooh and Phonte for making yet another song that is the real-"Always tryin' to impress these niggas with expensive-ass liquor I don't even like that taste of..."

I have been changing--Mentally, physically, emotionally--all that. I'm am struggling with the "un"side of me; unfaithful, unspiritual, unwilling, uneducated. And the side that is ready for change, and progress. I love learning, but I try to act lazy because what I've always done directly portraits laziness(I guess). It is frustrating to be held back by yourself, but I get an ill feeling in my stomach when I feel like I need someone else (human) to get where I want to be. I hate depending on other people--family, friends.... bums. Any one that isn't the alpha and omega has no place telling me what I should do. And I 'm beginning to figure this out and put others to the side. Finally removing the barriers between God and Me, but to my "dismay", my biggest obstacle is my self. Which is the old me, that guy that has had a good heart clouded by evil. I'm clearing the evil, really I am. But I'm starting to feel possessive over the 'bad' things I have always done: ie, sex, girls, vagina, legs, skirts, talking to girls.... looking at girls.... touching girls. I really have grown quite fond of Shorties, and don't want to let 'em go. I just know that I need to in order for me to get where I want to be. The last time i had sex..... ughhhh, I didn't even want to do it--which made it better (for me...) but I felt like she wanted it FOR REAL. I didn't even work it like I should have because I didn't want to do it. i thought I was on a new leaf--the one without sex. But with one hinting gesture towards sex I folded like a t-shirt.

People struggle from time to time, I guess. I don't like the whole one night "love" thing because of all the disrespect that is involved, but I get caught up sometimes. I have to stay on my grind in order for me to go anywhere... and seeing how I have class at seven in the morning, I should probly be getting some zzzZZzzzzZ.

-zH.