Shout out to Big Pooh and Phonte for making yet another song that is the real-"Always tryin' to impress these niggas with expensive-ass liquor I don't even like that taste of..."
I have been changing--Mentally, physically, emotionally--all that. I'm am struggling with the "un"side of me; unfaithful, unspiritual, unwilling, uneducated. And the side that is ready for change, and progress. I love learning, but I try to act lazy because what I've always done directly portraits laziness(I guess). It is frustrating to be held back by yourself, but I get an ill feeling in my stomach when I feel like I need someone else (human) to get where I want to be. I hate depending on other people--family, friends.... bums. Any one that isn't the alpha and omega has no place telling me what I should do. And I 'm beginning to figure this out and put others to the side. Finally removing the barriers between God and Me, but to my "dismay", my biggest obstacle is my self. Which is the old me, that guy that has had a good heart clouded by evil. I'm clearing the evil, really I am. But I'm starting to feel possessive over the 'bad' things I have always done: ie, sex, girls, vagina, legs, skirts, talking to girls.... looking at girls.... touching girls. I really have grown quite fond of Shorties, and don't want to let 'em go. I just know that I need to in order for me to get where I want to be. The last time i had sex..... ughhhh, I didn't even want to do it--which made it better (for me...) but I felt like she wanted it FOR REAL. I didn't even work it like I should have because I didn't want to do it. i thought I was on a new leaf--the one without sex. But with one hinting gesture towards sex I folded like a t-shirt.
People struggle from time to time, I guess. I don't like the whole one night "love" thing because of all the disrespect that is involved, but I get caught up sometimes. I have to stay on my grind in order for me to go anywhere... and seeing how I have class at seven in the morning, I should probly be getting some zzzZZzzzzZ.
-zH.
I have been changing--Mentally, physically, emotionally--all that. I'm am struggling with the "un"side of me; unfaithful, unspiritual, unwilling, uneducated. And the side that is ready for change, and progress. I love learning, but I try to act lazy because what I've always done directly portraits laziness(I guess). It is frustrating to be held back by yourself, but I get an ill feeling in my stomach when I feel like I need someone else (human) to get where I want to be. I hate depending on other people--family, friends.... bums. Any one that isn't the alpha and omega has no place telling me what I should do. And I 'm beginning to figure this out and put others to the side. Finally removing the barriers between God and Me, but to my "dismay", my biggest obstacle is my self. Which is the old me, that guy that has had a good heart clouded by evil. I'm clearing the evil, really I am. But I'm starting to feel possessive over the 'bad' things I have always done: ie, sex, girls, vagina, legs, skirts, talking to girls.... looking at girls.... touching girls. I really have grown quite fond of Shorties, and don't want to let 'em go. I just know that I need to in order for me to get where I want to be. The last time i had sex..... ughhhh, I didn't even want to do it--which made it better (for me...) but I felt like she wanted it FOR REAL. I didn't even work it like I should have because I didn't want to do it. i thought I was on a new leaf--the one without sex. But with one hinting gesture towards sex I folded like a t-shirt.
People struggle from time to time, I guess. I don't like the whole one night "love" thing because of all the disrespect that is involved, but I get caught up sometimes. I have to stay on my grind in order for me to go anywhere... and seeing how I have class at seven in the morning, I should probly be getting some zzzZZzzzzZ.
-zH.
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